WOW! I waited all winter for spring, so we could get our yard done and now it finally here. It is so exciting to see a big lot of weeds turn into a nice landscaped yard. I'm having fun adding the finishing touches now. Once I'm all done, I'll post a few pictures.

Jonah is in 7th heaven!! He and Bill(my husband) have been talking about getting a 4 wheeler for the past 11/2 years. Bill finally got a small kids 4 wheeler.(They can still both go on it) They are having such a great time. It's so awesome to see that bonding between them. I sometimes feel a bit of guilt with us getting a girl, but then I see them together and realize he has a bud.

The adoption end of our life seems dead right now. It's frustrating when you don't hear anything from Cafac for what seems an eternity. We got an update at the end of last month and I'm really praying for one this month as well. I feel like months are a year right now. I am getting so sick of going into Zalea's room and everyday it's empty with not even a picture of her. I have never been at a point in life where I have felt so depressed for such a long period of time. I'm kinda wondering if others got to this point in waiting. I'm generally the one building everyone else up and now I'm the one distancing myself from everyone. You know when you just want to sleep and sleep. Don't get me wrong, I don't do this, and I am still caring for my children as normal. I'm doing everything I can to encourage them to keep praying for Zalea and telling them she will come in Gods time. It's just hard to tell them this when I have a hard time believing it. I keep telling myself that once I see that picture, all the waiting will go away, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't have the picture. I really dislike it when I get so pessimistic, and I have to find a way of just living each day to it's fullest, as hard as this can be.


As much as we are still desperately waiting for our referral, and of course a day does not go by where I don't think about it, we are finding ways of keeping busy to pass the time. We moved to our new home in November and are now doing our yard. I think it will look great when it's done... I can't wait. On Saturday, myself and a friend are going into the city while the men do the grass. (Nice exchange hu?) I can't wait till I can see Zalea on the play structure having fun.

I was reading a friends blog this morning and reality set in! How blessed we are to live in a country that is for the most part safe and filled with freedom. Her clips were talking about the Aids crisis! I really feel like sometimes I want to block out what is happening out there because, #1. It is so devastating to think about, and #2. I feel that I can't make a big difference is such a huge problem anyway. Bill and I know that we want to adopt as many children as possible, but I sometimes catch myself thinking.... What a difference am I really making in such a massive, wide spread issue?? (I realize we can't adopt children with aids) I just know that the chance for the children we adopt to get aids at some point is high. I don't mean to be pessimistic in this post... I just can't help but think about this tragedy. I sometimes picture my girls being the ones abducted and raped and then being forced into marriage and needless to say It just puts things into perspective. I am somewhat frustrated in my community because I feel like we all live in such a bubble of comfort that I will have people ask me not to mention that things like that happen out there, because it's to hard to hear. If it's to hard to hear.... What about them. Sorry, just venting!


Well, Bill and I have decided to increase the age we are willing to accept in a referral and I feel good about it. I spend the weekend praying about it and talking to friends and we felt that it didn't really matter to us. We have had the infant stage two times over and are happy to give people the opportunity who are receiving their first children. This was partially to hopefully receive a referral soon but also, we took some time to look at our family and what would work best for us as a family. So our girl could now be between 0-3yrs old. The only thing stopping us from doing this when we started, is that the province of MB does not like to have fake twinning and that's what would have happened with our son at that time. I guess the only thing I now have a small fear about is getting a child who is said to be 3 but is really 5. I then have to remind myself that we have spend alot of time praying for exactly the child the Lord has for us and we believe this will happen regaurdless of her age.

This weekend was really hard, not because I'm not a mother, because I am. But because I had really, really prayed for our referral by mothers day. I know this is a very selfish prayer because I'm sure alot more mothers felt this way, but that's what's amazing about God. He can handle our selfishness and love us just the same. Isn't that great!!!


My baby is 4!!!! What a weekend of parties for my baby!! Jonah didn't sleep for a week because he was so excited!! We had 4 different parties this year. Every year I tell the kids that it will be very simple and well, it never is!! I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy having parties.

On the adoption end..... Well, not sure what more to say then that we're still impatiently waiting. I guess every Monday morning I have a renewed hope for the week. One of these weeks it's gotta happen..

I was just talking to a friend on the phone this morning who has three children adopted from Ethiopia, and she was sharing that her son is beginning to have a bit of a difficult time with feeling different in their community. He has been asking his mom, when God will turn him white. Her daughter is the same age and has not expressed any amount of "struggle" with this. I guess I thought this may be more of a girl issue than a boy.. I'm obviously wrong. I have been very blessed knowing this couple and many other couples in our area who have children from Ethiopia. I have learned so much about their process, their struggles and Joys. We have been doing alot of research about the Ethiopian culture, food etc. The more I learn, the more I appreciate who our daughter will be and where she comes from. Well I gotta run. Sorry about my post being a mix of my thoughts today.


My friend Sheila is back from a year in Berundi Africa and brought these dolls for our girls. She was teaching at a school for children who were sponsered. Just thought I should share the pictures.

When I was 8 years old, I was quite obsessed with death and what happened to peoples souls after etc. I told my mom that if I died, I wanted Jeremiah 29 11-13 on my grave stone. Those verses have become my favorite verses in the bible. It gives me a contentment to know that the Lord is in control of my life and he has plans to prosper me. Today is a day filled with a new hope and contentedness. For some reason I just needed the last Ethiopia update to give me hope and a knowing that our turn is coming. I have been praying for exactly the girl that God has in plan for us as a family. I have to confess that I have had a lot of fun shopping in the last few months, and just wonder what she will look like in all her adorable clothes. One of my favorite things to buy for her is hair things. Hairbands, ponytails, clips etc. I have bought some shoes in bigger size and hope they will fit her. (I'm assuming she will be close to two).

Another thing that has really helped this week go by fast is our fundraising. This is going very well. My husband took the forms to work and sold $1200.00 in Sobeys cards in one day. We are hoping to use some of this money to buy things for the foster home while we are in Ethiopia. We then plan on taking a bunch of pictures and show people out here when we come back where their money went. So Sorry if my grammer is not always perfect. I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants, typing what comes to mind.

I feel like I need to mention a prayer request. My aunt is 35years old and has breast cancer that has moved into the rest of her body. She has been told by every specialist that it's a matter of time. She now has three children under five and is a stay at home mom. To give a little background ifo on her. She has had nine miscarriages and wanted nothing more than to be a mother. She went to extreme lengths to have their infertility corrected and finally with success. It seems so unfair that she now has to leave her wonderful kids. I say kids, because she is married to someone who has been an alcoholic since shortly after they were married. As you can guess, that's how he is dealing with her illness now. You would think that she would have enough pain in her life. Well, the worst thing just happened. Her son (my cousin) who is 5, was just mollested by a family extended family member who is out here from Mexico on a working visa. What a mess!!!!! Please pray for this family. I'm sure God will know who you're talking about.


I'm at a point where I'm not sure what to share. I'm in a place where I feel time is standing still and I'm going through the motions of every day. We received an Ethiopian update last night and according to that, we should be getting our referral any time now. They were saying that they are receiving referrals (for people requesting infants)whose paperwork arrived in Addis in July.(We are September) and referrals for older children are 2-6month wait. We asked for a girl
0-2yrs old. I was told that request is between infant and older. I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up but it's hard. I'm not sure if I shared this already, but I had a dream of me walking with my little girl holding her hand. The funny thing about the dream was that I remember exactly what she looked like. Somehow, I now picture her that way.

I have started doing some fundraising and have to say that I'm quite overwhelmed with how well it's going. We are selling Sobeys gift cards. In case you don't know, it's a local Grocery store. I recieve aprox 7% of what value I sell. I only started two days ago and I've sold $3500.00. I do have to say that I am quite out of my comfort zone doing this. A few negative comments can be difficult for me. (I'm sure this is the case for anyone)

Tommorow is our sons birthday and he is beyond excited. He is turning four years old. I am in denial about how old he really is. My husband and I are comforting ourselves with the fact that Zalea will be under 2. I just love the toddler stage. That's why it was important to me to have that stage with Zalea. My twin girls will be going to grade one in fall and I am starting to realize that I think that will be even harder than Kind. I can't even imagine not having them home all day. They (my children) are the joy of my life. Bill and I often joke that we'll just keep adopting until we're 60 LOL!!!! We will be broke in terms of money, but packed full with love in our home. LOL LOL!!!